Peer Review for Emily

I reviewed Emily's QRG. The form has significantly improved from the rough draft version. She added more white space and included more hyperlinks in less interactive portions of the QRG. One thing that I would change back, though, is the font of the subheadings. It is difficult to read and detracts from the content, which is a solid, convincing argument. 

Reflection on Local Revision Process

This week was a lot of work. I didn't do my official filming until Release Week because I wanted my script to be peer reviewed. It would have been awful to go through the filming and editing process, only having to start all over again.

I also taught myself how to use iMovie. It's very straightforward after the first few hours, but it's really frustrating to have to learn a whole new software when working under a deadline.

Overall, I'm happy with my final project. The effects could be a little better but, considering the fact that I had no footage five days ago, I think it turned out pretty well. There is a lot of content that I wish I could have included but decided not to. Twelve minutes is already long for a video essay, twenty would have been terrible.

I'm excited to use my new iMovie skills in the future. Creating the video was frustrating at times but it was also really fun.  Plus this new skill opens me up to working with various forms of multimedia. 

Peer Review for Diego

I reviewed Diego's project. His use of sound effects were very compelling and I liked the way he interacted with his audio sources, specifically when it sounded like he was having a conversation with John Oliver. The piece was engaging and he respectfully addressed the counterargument.

The only suggestion I have for Diego is that he could benefit from editing the sound quality a little more or using a microphone muffler. Some of the sounds coming from his mouth were a little distracting just because the audio is the main focus of the piece. That's a tiny pet peeve that I have, though. It was a great argument with great use of form. 

Revised Post to Peer Reviewers

My project is finally finished. I couldn't upload it in great quality because I was having issues with UA wifi, but the poor quality version is there. I will upload the HD version overnight and change the link in the morning.

Anyway, I think that I found great video sources that include both personal stories and facts about the issues within the Voluntourism industry. I'm new to video editing, so I know that watching the video could be a smoother experience. I hope the hours I put into making it what it is now are evident, even if the quality isn't perfect.

EDIT (4/25/2016, 9:46 AM): The HD version of the video essay is now up on YouTube. The link in the original post should take you to that version of the project!

Editorial Report 13b

The second section I decided to edit was the segment in which I introduced the End Humanitarian Douchery video. Here is the the original version and the fine cut (2:02-3:35.)

I was told during last week's peer review that the way I introduced the EHU clip could isolate some viewers, especially those who were considering voluntourism trips. I softened my perspective on the industry (or at least saved the salt for later) and let the video speak for itself. Also, I made sure to explain why I included the video after the twenty second clip played. I linked it back to untrained volunteers flying across the world to do jobs that they aren't qualified to do.

In terms of form, I added some on-screen text and smoothed out transitions. I also cut the EHD video down to twenty seconds because it the minute I originally planned to include took away from the overall focus of my video. 

Editorial Report 13A

I chose to compare my original introduction with the one in my final video (0:00-1:37.) Since I'm having so many issues uploading video I'm not going to try to upload the original clip of me just reading the intro from my script.

I was able to incorporate a lot of cool effects into my introduction. This is partially because I had no idea how to use iMovie when I started and spent a lot of time playing with my new magical video editing powers.

One thing that I would still change, though, is the transitions. When I use my original video is a voiceover from a borrowed clip from the web, it's impossible to incorporate a smooth transition back the clip of me talking. Maybe it's possible and I just don't know how to do it yet. I'm excited to learn. 

Peer Review for Colby Allred

I reviewed Rhiannon's video and was impressed by the content and the clear work that has been put in so far.

The video of Anwar Al-Alaki at the beginning of the video was a fantastic choice. Personally, I would shorten the clip because it only strongly holds audience attention for the first fifteen seconds or so. What can I say? I'm a millennial. Besides, the stretch between 0:14 and the end of the clip is repetitive. 

I would recommend redoing the voiceover with a higher quality microphone. The poor quality is an unnecessary distraction. Great microphones can be checked out at the Gear to Go center here. If you decide to record the voiceover again, I would look up videos for the accurate pronunciation of Al Qaeda and al-Awlaki. This is a personal pet peeve, but I'm sure most of your audience doesn't speak Arabic. 

This is a good start! The main form issue is the voiceover quality, which can easily be redone. 

Peer Review for Emily Bond

Emily's QRG clearly explains and backs up her argument and has a great layout. Most of the QRG is highly interactive, with hyperlinks and images, but there are some sections that could benefit from being moreso, specifically the "But the Plan isn't Perfect" section.

Also, I appreciate how the more casual tone works with the genre choice, but I don't think it's a good fit for the subject matter. She backs up her claims with statistics and hyperlinks, but someone with a dissenting opinion would take the QRG more seriously if the tone were slightly more formal. This would include small changes like eliminating rhetorical questions in the body paragraphs as well as words like "actually" and "honestly." These words just make the reader question the stated opinion. 

Reflection on Post Production

I'm not where I would like to be a week before the final project is due. I've cut and saved all of the video clips I intend to use and have chosen potential background music for each section of my video. However, I have not yet recorded what wikll be the majority of screen time-- me talking.

I've timed myself going through the script and mapped out where I want the video to go, but I haven't been able to check out the camera I want until Monday afternoon. I think I will have plenty of time to create a video that I am happy with before the final deadline. I just don't know what I will have for peer review in class. 

I plan on spending all of Tuesday afternoon and evening editing my video in the library, but all I will have in class for peer review on Tuesday is a bunch of raw footage. I typically work best under tight deadlines but that might not include teaching myself how to use iMovie. 

Editorial Report 9b

Like in my first editorial report, I focused on softening my critique as to not alienate potential volunteers. My original intention for this video was to explain the problems within the voluntourism industry and to encourage well intentioned travelers to seek out alternatives. No one will hear the alternatives if they don't make it to the end of the video.

Unedited Version

Sometimes communities do use the wells, schools, or churches that Westerners fly across the world to build. But all too often, volunteers are encouraged to build new facilities for a disgusting reason:

[Learning Service: 2:20-2:37 -- orphanages keeping facilities in terrible conditions to make more money & attract volunteers]

That’s not the only problem with these orphanages. The number of orphanages in Cambodia has tripled in the past five years and there are now seven times as many children living in orphanages than there were four years after the Khmer Rouge period. How are there more parentless Cambodian children now than there were right after a genocide?

The short answer is that there aren’t. According to the United Nations Children’s Emergency fund, or UNICEF, at least three fourths of Cambodian “orphans” have one or more living parent.

Representatives from these orphanages often travel to surrounding communities promising families that their children would be better taken care of, educated by foreigners, and have the chance to be successful. They bring photos of other children smiling with the foreign volunteer as proof of their fantastic teachers. To a poor family who doesn’t have the resources to research the organization, it sounds like a great deal.

In reality, these children typically end up living in awful conditions. The number of volunteers visiting the orphanage is inversely proportional to the quality of facilities and education.

Edited Version

Sometimes communities do use the wells, schools, or churches that Westerners fly across the world to build. But all too often, well intentioned Westerners are encouraged to build new facilities for a disgusting reason:

[Learning Service 2:20-2:37]

The number of orphanages in Cambodia has tripled in the past five years. There are now seven times as many children living in orphanages than there were after the fall of the Khmer Rouge. How are the more parentless Cambodian children now than there were right after a genocide?

There aren't. According to UNICEF, the United Nations Children's Emergency Fund, at least three fourths of Cambodian children in orphanages have one or more living parent.

Representatives from these orphanages travel to surrounding communities promising families that their children will have a better life if they leave home. They promise comfort, Western education, and the chance for success. To a poor family who can't research the organization, it sounds like a great deal.

In reality, these children live in awful conditions. The more volunteers visit the orphanage, the worse worse the facilities and education are.

Editorial Report 9a

I am creating a video project, but I held off on doing the actual recording until I was satisfied with my script. Since I'll be in the video I wanted to use a high quality camera and didn't want to check it out twice.

I received commentary on my rough cut that the inclusion of my "End Humanitarian Douchery" video could alienate some viewers. I agree with that sentiment, but I still find the video hilarious and relevant. I decided to cut the proposed one minute segment from the video into a twenty second clip.

Rough Draft Section: 

Before we get into the large issues of the voluntourism industry, we need to examine it on a smaller scale. After all, the whole industry is built on one demand: human experience.

Most voluntourism companies use advertisements like this one, from Projects Abroad, to promote their trips. [play Projects Abroad video.]

Volunteers get to play with, feed, and change the diapers of poor, adoring black children. Best of all, they get to spend their exotic vacation helping to change the world.

But have you ever thought of what the volunteers look like to the people they are helping?

This clip from End Humanitarian Douchery, a Canadian nonprofit that encourages Fair Trade Learning instead of traditional voluntourism, can’t portray this phenomenon perfectly, but it’s worth watching: [play first 1:40 of EHD video]

What I believe to be the most important moment in this video is easy to miss. The man who hopes to teach Crossfit to save Americans from obesity can’t even do a pushup. Volunteers regularly take on roles that they aren’t trained to do, like building schools or teaching English. They work really hard for a few weeks and leave with a sense of satisfaction and moral superiority. The community is left with a building that will crumble by the end of the year or children who just learned “head, shoulders, knees and toes” for the fifth time.

Revised Section:

Before we get into the large issues of the voluntourism industry, we need to examine it on a more personal level. After all, the industry is built on a simple demand: human experience.

Most voluntourism companies and use advertisements like this one from Projects Abroad to promote their trips [play fifteen seconds of Projects Abroad]

Volunteers get to spend their exotic vacation helping to change the world by playing with, feeding, and changing the diapers of poor black children.

But have you ever considered what the volunteers look like to the people they are helping?

This clip from End Humanitarian Douchery is a Canadian nonprofit that encourages Fair Trade Learning as a solution to the current voluntourism industry. This video is satire and can't explain the phenomenon perfectly, but it's worth watching: [play 20 second clip of EHD.]

I chose to include what I believe to be the most important moment in the video. The man who hopes to teach Crossfit to save Americans from obesity can’t even do a pushup. Volunteers regularly take on roles that they aren’t trained to do, like building schools or teaching English. They work really hard for a few weeks and leave with a sense of satisfaction and moral superiority. The community is left with a building that will crumble by the end of the year or children who just learned “head, shoulders, knees and toes” for the fifth time.

Open Post to Peer Reviewers

I shot the first draft of my video with my webcam, but didn't want to wait two hours for it to upload. Here is a link to my script that I used for the video.

I understand that I may come off as incredibly biased, so if you notice that I alienate viewers please let me know in your comments. I'll try to upload my video again later, but UAWifi isn't hasn't wanted to cooperate so far.

If you do get to see the actual video, ignore the quality and weird setup. I'll be going into the production studio to film my final version and was only worried about content for this draft. 

Peer Review 11B: Eren Arbac

Eren doesn't seem to have published much content for this project yet, but that might be because he only wrote two sections. There isn't enough detail in either of his main body sections to develop a three minute video, let alone one long enough for this assignment. I recommended that he find interviews with people directly involved in the scandal he is responding to to flesh out his work and make the video more dynamic.

I did like how straightforward his script was. I tend to have very flowery writing and that doesn't come off very well in argumentative pieces. I plan to take a second look at my script and cut out any unnecessary language. 

Peer Review 11A: Tim Wils

I reviewed Tim's draft of his project. At first I thought the sections looked a little sparse, but I'm glad he linked the videos that he planned to include. Those clips back up his argument well and do most of the work for him. Also, these are just small portions of his much longer outline, so I think he will have plenty of content for his video project.

Reflection on Production

My video is going to be really long. Like really long. I haven't even cut in the extra video footage that I wanted to include. I can probably cut enough my script out to get it down to fifteen minutes, but I know that's still a really long video for a millennial audience.

I've contacted a few people about using the Film & Television production studio on campus for my final recording, but I'm not sure if that will work out yet. I'm sure the quality isn't too important for the purposes of this project, but I'm confident enough in what I've made so far that I'd like to include this project as a work sample on my LinkedIn.

I'm most nervous about the final release week because that's probably when I'll do most of my video editing. I have no idea how to do that. 

Production Report 11b

The next section of my video forces people into the shoes of the people that are supposedly being helped. It's a short section that doesn't include many logic based appeals, but I think it's a good way to prepare viewers for the logos appeals regarding economic disruption and child exploitation. I let other videos make most of the points in this segment-- I wanted viewers to be able to develop their own ideas about the subject before I slapped them in the face with evidence supporting mine.

Outline Item

1. What does Voluntourism look like from the other side?
1. Describe what we see when we think of international volunteer trips friends go on trips-- play Projects Abroad advertisement
2. End Humanitarian Douchery video (0 - 1:40)

Rough Draft

Before we get into the large issues of the voluntourism industry, we need to examine it on a smaller scale. After all, the whole industry is built on one demand: human experience.

Most voluntourism companies use advertisements like this one, from Projects Abroad, to promote their trips. [play Projects Abroad video.]

Volunteers get to play with, feed, and change the diapers of poor, adoring black children. Best of all, they get to spend their exotic vacation helping to change the world.

But have you ever thought of what the volunteers look like to the people they are helping?

This clip from End Humanitarian Douchery, a Canadian nonprofit that encourages Fair Trade Learning instead of traditional voluntourism, can’t portray this phenomenon perfectly, but it’s worth watching: [play first 1:40 of EHD video]

What I believe to be the most important moment in this video is easy to miss. The man who hopes to teach Crossfit to save Americans from obesity can’t even do a pushup. Volunteers regularly take on roles that they aren’t trained to do, like building schools or teaching English. They work really hard for a few weeks and leave with a sense of satisfaction and moral superiority. The community is left with a building that will crumble by the end of the year or children who just learned “head, shoulders, knees and toes” for the fifth time.

Production Report 11A

The first outline item I decided to flesh out is my introduction section. I decided to include more about myself than I originally intended

This just the transcript of the intro-- once I film it I will use sound effects and images of sad orphans to help introduce the subject matter. That's what all the companies do, anyway.

Outline Item

1. Opening
1. “Have you ever wanted to save the world…?”  I’m Leah Crowder with the University of Arizona and I did too. In fact, I tried.  
2. Unfortunately, you may be doing more harm than good. Volunteer Tourism, or voluntourism, has become a billion dollar industry that often disrupts local economies, exploits vulnerable communities, and discourages real development.

Rough Draft

Have you ever wanted to build a school in Guatemala? How about playing with orphans in Kenya? Maybe even give vaccines in Laos?

Well, you’re not the only one. I’m Leah Crowder with the University of Arizona and when I was in high school I begged my parents to fork over the $4000 to let me go save Africa. I didn’t know which country I would go to or even what I wanted to do, but I just knew that I could make a difference. Plus it would have made a fantastic college application essay.

Luckily my parents realized that this would be a waste of money before they put me on a plane. That same year, I received a scholarship from the US Department of State to study in Turkey for a year.

I was shoved to the front of a high school English classroom just because I was American. After the first four months or so I finally felt comfortable in front of the class, but that didn’t mean I was a good teacher. I became a certified English teacher when I returned to the states and realized that I was probably the worst teacher those students ever had.

I was a naive, privileged American teenager who wanted to do good. It turns out there are a lot of us. In 2014 alone, at least 1.6 million Westerners left home to volunteer in the global South, fueling the 1.8 billion dollar volunteer tourism industry, also known as voluntourism.

The majority of voluntourists are females between 20 and 25 years old. Most voluntourists leave home with similar goals: give back, see the world, and learn about a different way of life. But these volunteers may be doing more harm than good. Voluntourism often disrupts local economies, exploits vulnerable communities, and discourages real development.

Peer Review 10B: Eren Arbac

I reviewed Eren's content outline about the 2022 Qatar World Cup. The project doesn't have a title yet.

The outline is organized very well; readers who know very little about the topic can easily understand it. He has a clearly developed argument that he clearly believes in. However, he doesn't address any counterargument about why FIFA should allow Qatar to host the world cup despite corruption. There are many possible arguments for him to addres, like the millions of dollars already invested for infrastructure improvements in Qatar.

Peer Review 10A: Jacob Korbin

I reviewed Jacob's content outline for his podcast. His project is titled "Star Wars TFA: Triumph or Rehash?"

Jacob's outline makes it very easy to follow this train of thought he had while writing it, but it isn't fully developed enough to easily transform into a script. He includes one counterargument in his outline, which is just "prequels sucked." he definitely needs to include his outside sources in the final project. There aren't any cited or mentioned in the outline.

It is difficult for me to understand where he is going with this project, but that's because he created his outline for himself. However, I know a lot less about Star Wars than I would like to admit. I can tell just by the topic choice that he cares about his argument. His passion will likely be obvious in the podcast. But anyone who knows anything about Star Wars could likely poke holes in his current argument. 

Reflection on Pre-Production

Pre-production for this project took a lot more time than it did for the first two projects for this course. This may be because I'm creating a video essay and watched roughly seven hours of videos and documentaries about my topic. However, I feel that I have a more well rounded perspective of my topic after conducting this research. I am still biased, but I will be able to address other perspectives in a deeper and more understanding way.

I'm both nervous and excited to move onto the production phase because I haven't done much work in this genre before. Next week should go relatively smoothly because I won't be editing anything yet. Post-production and release weeks will be absolutely miserable. 

Production Schedule

My production schedule can be found here. I plan to spend most of next week writing so that I can get feedback on the rough content before booking the film & television studio to record my final project. 

Content Outline

My content outline can be found here. Most of the supporting evidence is found in the video clips I plan to add in during production. The title of the video and the important sections are listed. 

Research Report

The sources I gathered for my video essay range from Ted Talks to research papers about the effects of voluntourism. I plan to incorporate footage directly from about half of these sources and use the rest for background info or quotes.